Ahhhhh. . .. I’m taking a vacation day. So instead of being at work recovering from a night of shooting pool at Leroy’s, sitting at my computer listening to Evanescence and drinking coffee, I’m at home recovering from a night of shooting pool, sitting at my computer, listening to Evanescence and drinking coffee. Sometimes it’s nice to do something different.

I’m also coughing up clumps of yellow stuff. I like to imagine that it’s concentrated evil that has proliferated to such an extent that it can no longer fit within the confines of my body. But it’s probably just clumps of yellow stuff. Maybe I got the SARS.

Note: If I die at some point in the near future (blaze of gunfire, beaten to death by a toothless old pimp, or acute boredom), I don’t want anything stupid in my obiturary. I hate stuff like “Ben’s soul was plucked by the Loving Hands of God and he was been raised among the angels, puffy clouds, white babies with harps and blah blah blah.” I want mine to say something like:

Michael is gone. Heaven or hell? We really can’t say. But what we can say is that apparantly it’s not a good idea to kick in the door to a Chinese restaurant and challenge the waitstaff to a kung-fu fight while mouthing words off time so that it looks dubbed. Dumb m@#*%$a. Owed Ken twenty-five dollas. That’s why we pawned his cue stick. He will be sorely missed. . . by Paulie. And that 250 lb girl who was lookin’ at him like he was. . . a damn sammich, or somethin’. He was survived by five babies and three strong possibles. To God we belong and to Him is the return.

Something cool like that.
Oh yeah, I thought of one more haiku:

My balls are tangled

in a damn slinky again

This is sooo not cool

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