Ok, I decided to get totally seriously and start looking at the candidates for President. I got on the John McKane issues site and I found that I absolutely hate 50% of this guy’s stances on the issues. It was upsetting until I remembered that I hate about 80% of what Hillary and Obama stand for (issues-wise, they are basically the same person, the only difference is that Obama actually has charisma whereas Hillary is about as likeable as Jar-Jar Binks). Be that as it may, it breaks down like this:

Economic Stimulus Tax Cuts: Thumbs up, I’m all for it (side note, if the Democrats wanted to be a little bit craftier, they would refer to tax cuts as “revenue reduction” which would put a negative spin on something that is basically good. If you’re gonna be evil, you could at least be a little slick with it.)

Government Lower Spending/Fiscal Responsibility: Shut up, everybody says this, nobody comes out and says “I’m going to spend like a sailor!” Except maybe sailors.

Health Care: All I had to read was the beginning “Bringing costs under control” to know that I’m against it. The past hundred years have seen the greatest explosion in new medical technologies precisely because there is money to be made on it. Fuck with that at your own peril. No one has the right to impose a dollar ceiling on the medicines I invent and if the government succeeds in imposing one then I’m going to stop inventing lifesaving medicines. When the government runs the healthcare system it will become just as effective as our public schools.

Strict Constructivist Philosophy: thumbs up, the Constitution is meant to be taking literally, it’s not a “this means whatever you want it to mean handy-dandy guidebook” like the Bible.

Overturning Roe v Wade: No. If you don’t like abortions, John McKane, no one is forcing you to have one. And for the record, I think that harpooning your unborn baby is a shitty thing to do, but my personal opinion (or anyone else’s) is not a valid basis for interfering with another person’s right to dispose of their own property as they see fit.

Lobbying and Ethics Reform: lol

Strategy for Victory in Iraq: Saddaam is dead. Please come up with something other than a hundred year presence.

Border Security & Immigration Reform: Ok, I read the whole blurb and I can’t tell what he’s saying. “Recognizing the importance of assimilation” is a little disturbing. How exactly does the government do that? Whack somebody with a billyclub for speaking Mexican???

Commitment to America’s Veterans: Yes

Education: I don’t believe the Constitution granted the feds the right to interfere in local public education. The only acceptable answer to “what do you as President intend to do about education?” should be “Nothing.”

National Security: Ok, his website doesn’t say anything about sacrificing freedom in the name of security but I would hardly expect him to say that explicitly even if that was his plan. What are his views on the Patriot Anti-American Act?

Protecting Second Amendment Rights: Thumbs Up

I would review the Hillary and Obama platforms but I don’t think I have enough expletives. I don’t like our choices for President at all this year. The biggest problem with John McKane’s campaign is that he’s so old that electing him would be pretty much the equivalent of putting an undead character in the White House. The American electoral process is basically a popularity contest and I don’t see an old McKane defeating a young Obama, regardless of the issues. I would like a do over.

8 Responses to “President”

  1. For the record, I despise all three of ’em fuckers.

    Thanks for the Jar Jar visual…”Meesa soooo glad you didn’t have sexual relations with her, Mista Bill!”

  2. R says:

    I’m thinking that “reducing costs” in health care has to do more with reducing the paperwork/bureaucracy/useless administrative positions. Because, really, eliminate all that bullshit and health insurance costs go way down.

  3. mexigogue says:

    I don’t get what you’re saying. How is the government gonna reduce the bureaucracy? Are they gonna blitzkrieg the Blue Cross and start firing people???

  4. Phelps says:

    We could reduce costs very easily. Disband the FDA, and bust up the AMA like they did AT&T or remove their government monopoly (which they have by tying licensing into their university accreditation.)

  5. mexigogue says:

    Oh my gosh, but if they disband the FDA then who is gonna be there to prevent mortally ill Americans from trying experimental yet possibly life-saving drugs??? Who will tell us what’s best for ourselves???

  6. R says:

    They could say “hai, gusy, tax breaks if you go paperless.” Or something.

  7. Phelps says:

    And I’m pretty sure that the insurance companies are already paperless.

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