The Great Toilet Seat Debate

Guy in a UNLV Jacket asks:

My wife wants me to put the toilet seat down when I am done pissing and I always forget am I going to go to hell?

My answer is yes, Guy in a UNLV Jacket you ARE going to hell, but it has nothing to do with the toilet seat.

As for the toilet seat up/down debate, some people did a mathematical study on this a few years back and they determined that if everybody leaves the toilet seat in the manner in which they used it, that is the optimal setting because there is zero effort expended upon leaving the bathroom (you leave the seat the way it was) and the chances it will be in the correct position for you when you get back is about 50%. Women (and Gavin Spittle) often try to argue that the seat should always be left down because they might not notice that it’s up and they might sit on porcelain and end up falling in the toilet water. My answer is that if your woman is prone to this kind of mistake, keep the toilet lid up and get a new woman. I mean for real!

An anonymous person asked why Hispanics often speak to non Hispanics with correct English enunciation but when speaking among ourselves we become virtually unintelligible to non-Hispanics. The answer is because we are talking about YOU and we’re discussing how we can shank you in the parking lot and steal your job. HA 😀

2 Responses to “The Great Toilet Seat Debate”

  1. Phelps says:

    My solution to the “I might not notice” thing is to not notice that the seat is down and piss all over it. “It was down? Oh, I didn’t notice. I guess you are right.”

  2. R says:

    Gurls r dum. haha.

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