Useless Pageantry

When people are horribly murdered, candlelight vigils fix everything because. . .


Or, to frame the formula better, in the event of terrible crime:

1) candlelight vigil

2) ????????

3) $$ profit!!! $$

I’ll never understand people.

3 Responses to “Useless Pageantry”

  1. Phelps says:

    We used to go and horribly murder them back as group therapy. Now we just drip wax everywhere.

  2. I must agree – never quite understood the significance. Growing up and being forced to attend church every time the doors were unlocked, I was always an unlucky participant in Christmas Eve candelight services. I think it was just for atmospheric/aesthetic purposes though. Mary and the baby Jesus look purtier in candelight. When it comes to dead people, I’m at a ???? also. Maybe it takes some fear away from all those college students…I say, screw candle wax and give them a Valium. They’ll feel MUCH better after that.

  3. guy in the unlv jacket says:

    candlelight vigil gnomes?

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