Bucket’a Chicken Wars!

The Bucket’a Chicken Wars have begun! Last night, unbeknownst to the rest of the free world, but beknownst to those of us at Leroy’s, my sworn enemy Dave Marion and I began a marathon race to 100 game pool contest for the highest of stakes: a bucket of Popeye’s Chicken (Dave, if you’re reading this, I like my chicken spicy). It is a grudge match to end all grudge matches. The winner will go down in Lansing pool history, while the loser will live the rest of his life in ignominy (no, that’s not a small town, it’s a word, look it up.)

The series started with a packed to capacity crowd anxiously awaiting the break. It was so quiet you could have heard a drunk woman’s beak hit the table. The action was intense from the first break ’til the last 8 ball went down. The masses were not let down, streaming out of the bar in wonderment and awe last night as the series stood tied 1-1.

The pressure is definitely on. After the first night’s play, Dave had this to say:

“I knew I shouldn’t have took this bet. If I was ahead like 97 games to zero I would begin to think I had a chance. Now that it’s 1-1 I can cancel Christmas.”

Other quotes are as follows:

“Goddammit I tried to talk him out of it.”
– Rever

“I don’t know what Dave was thinking. Mike can miscue better than most people can shoot.”
– Ken

“I barely even come into Leroy’s anymore. Sometimes I wait in the parking lot and pay somebody to stroll through there to make sure Mike’s not there cuz I’m too a’scared to play him.”
-Lex

“Fuck you! Bank the 8!”
– Gaylord

“Look at me, I’m Mike Ryan.”
– Mike Ryan

These ominous statements aside, it is certain that every game will bring more blood, shrapnel, and smoke than. . . . than something with a lot of blood, shrapnel, and smoke in it. We’ll be fighting over this bucket’a chicken like Michael Jackson and a Catholic Priest fighting over. . . . . . never mind, that was gonna be bad. To be continued. . .

Michael Bernard Davis Leroy’s team 12 Quincy Briggs Aaron Wilson

10 Responses to “Bucket’a Chicken Wars!”

  1. Phelps says:

    I thought Popeye’s did boxes.

    We’re real men here in Texas. We bet steak. Never bet against a Texan when beef is on the line.

  2. Mexigogue says:

    Dammit, you’re right. Popeye’s does boxes. It was a conditioned response to seeing all those KFC buckets my whole life. Damn Colonel Sanders and his secret recipe. That ain’t no secret to brag about. Wanna impress me? Show me the secret to not dying of a heart attack. Bastard.
    (I got issues)

  3. Phelps says:

    I read a book where some people stole the seasoning packets they use at KFC, and analyzed them. You know what the secret herbs and spices are?

    Salt
    Black Pepper
    MSG

    That’s it. The speculation is that when the corporation bought out the colonel, they threw out all the stuff that you can’t taste anyways.

    I have a question about KFC, though — when did the colonel turn black? I mean, he’s talking black now, playing basketball, rapping… I may not know much, but I know that someone in some ad agency decided that the colonel should be black. That’s fucked up.

  4. Jordan Baeza says:

    Well I think my dad is going to lose horribly. He doesnt stand a chance, he cant even beat me at pool, theres no way he is going to win even iif he had a head start 90 games to -60

  5. Mexigogue says:

    Uh oh. You’re grounded! Go Do something else!

  6. Jordan Baeza says:

    Hey you cant talk to me like that until you beat me for the first time. Remember lasxt sunday when You broke missed and i ran out the table. Dont quit your day job dad. Im sorry to show you out in front of all your computer buddies but learn to tell the truth. (Grounded my big toe)

  7. Mexigogue says:

    Why are you spelling your first name like that?

  8. Jordon Baeza says:

    secret identity

  9. jordon baeza says:

    how many games to what is it now

  10. jordon baeza says:

    i gotta go