New Holiday

Fuck Kwanzaa. If it’s two things I hate, it’s racism and traditions. So I’m definitely hating Kwaanza since it’s an new tradition invented to give a racist alternative to Christmas. In protest I think I’m going to invent a new Mexican-American alternative to Christmas. Every member of a subsection of American society should do the same. Kwaanza will be drowned out as one in a sea of many stupid new ideas.

What should I call the new Chicano Holiday? Chimi-Changanzaa? What traditions should it entail?

12 Responses to “New Holiday”

  1. Phelps says:

    I’m not touching this with a ten foot piñata stick.

  2. mexi says:

    I theenk it weel be the day we celebrate the landscaping harvest and geev thanks to Meester Hankey.

  3. How about a cholo in a low rider gives out free hairnets

  4. mexigogue says:

    Excellent idea. I think it’s got Kwanzaa beat already. Dig it:

    On the first day of Chimi-Changanza my true love gave to me, a hairnet! (dah-da dah-da dah-daaah)

  5. Phelps says:

    No, you can do “a gold cross on a gold chain” and get the meter right. Save the hairnets for 3 (don’t they come in packs of three?)

  6. mexi says:

    3 hair nets
    2 velvet Jesus paintings
    and a gold cross on a gold chain!

  7. 4 virgin of guadalupe airbrushed murals

  8. mexi says:

    6 batos loco dancing? prancing? a-milking?

  9. 7 flannel shirts with only 3 buttons at the top

  10. R says:

    8 illegitimate children

  11. Anglosized says:

    9 forged green cards (along with promises to take you safely to America, in an unventilated semi truck)

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