teh Mexigogue

My daughter made these pictures, I just set them to the music and and stuck it on youtube. I am immensely proud of her, I cannot stress that enough. Now I’m gonna go get a beer.

I was in this online conversation where somebody objected to the term “girlfriend” being used to refer to an adult female. This guy said the term was wrong and I pointed out that English does not have term for adult non-married relationship partner that has caught on (partner sounding too vague and significant other sounding too gay to be used consistently). The following is the rest of the conversation:

Yes, but, the lack of a word that sounds pleasing to you does not make an adult into a “girl” or “boy”. “Life partner” may sound gay, but “girlfriend” is inaccurate.The people where I live (Iowa) say “husband” and “wife”. You can explain repeatedly that you aren’t married, and it doesn’t matter.

Then the people of the state of Iowa are liars. The term “girlfriend” is not innaccurate when referring to an adult female sex partner because language isn’t something that is the result of a bunch of logicians getting together wearing white coats and referring to etymology as the standard for all truth. Words and language shift through time largely based upon the usage of the people who speak that language.

For example, the word “alternative” comes from the Latin “alter” meaning “other of two”. A good example would be heads or tails. If heads is one option then the alternative is tails. Going by the original meaning of the Latin word there could be no third “alternative” because then it would be other of three, not other of two. HOWEVER the usage panel of the American Heritage College Dictionary 2nd Edition (or maybe it was 3rd, I forget) determined that, according to general usage, it is now acceptable to use alternative in situations when there are more than two options.

The definition of a word is not simply based on the root of the word itself and the experts telling people what is right (the prescriptivist position), it is more based upon the way in which the word is generally used by the people who speak that language (the descriptivist position). The intellectually dishonest people of the state of Iowa notwithstanding, in general usage of people who speak American English it is readily understood that the terms “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” can be and often are used to refer to adult persons.

Oh, there is one more word I am searching for at this time. What is it? Oh yeah, booyah!

The State of Michigan is facing an imminent government shutdown because of an economic crisis. In recent years General Motors has been forced to lay people off and shut down factories because the commie UAW has done their best to restrict GM from responding to new market challenges by the usual means such as lowering wages to make their cars more economical. As a result Michigan’s unemployment rate has skyrocketed and the populace has been fleeing to other states in droves. Governor Granholm thinks the solution to this crisis is to raise taxes (as if that’s going to make businesses and individuals want to come back to Michigan). The Michigan Legislature has balked at her proposal to take over the Galactical Trade Federation and now a government shutdown looms. Excellent!

People say the most asinine things. On the LSJ forums someone actually posted that GM should “share the wealth.” If I were the King of GM and one of my executives suggested “sharing the wealth” I would kick his head off! What does “share the wealth” even mean? That if the business is losing money they should continue to do so without taking sensible measures and then continue business-as-usual until what, until all their money is gone and the business has died? If an economic idea can be likened to a disease I would call that one AIDS.

Since DG thinks it’s a good idea to post pictures of herself from the 1980s on her blog I’ve decided that I would do the same. 

This picture was taken in the summer of 1986 in Columbus, Georgia on my first brief escape from West Texas. On the left you have the infamous Tyrone Tronae Allen Christopher Davis (don’t even ask). Jenn, for your reference, those multi-colored shorts I was wearing are what’s known as Jamz. Although you can only see the top of them in that picture I think you get the gist. It would have been a better picture if God hadn’t totally flubbed it by deciding to put the sun in the wrong place. Way to go God.

Man, I love the intro to these Captain Kangaroo skits they used to show back in the day. A Plain, unabashed message of valuing the self, not as a means to somebody else’s ends, but for the self. Look at the girl with the birthday cake? Do you think she’s worrying about carbs and pleasing the anorexia-adoring masses? Hell no she ain’t! And what about the kid with the football? Look at the look on his face. He’s all like “Fuck you, I’m gonna score a touchdown and I don’t care a whit about what it does to your self esteem. Pu-freaking-shaw!” The girl with the fucked up glasses is all like “Hey, I maybe can’t see straight but if you mess with me I will gouge your eyes out and use them to put out my mom’s cigarettes!” I wish there were messages like that nowadays. The 70s were the best of times, only I don’t remember everything being all grainy.

For the record, I listened real close to the part of the song that’s tought to figure out. I think the lyrics are (tought part in italics):

The most important person in the whole wide world
is you and you hardly even know you
The most important person in the whole wide world
is you come on we’ll show you

Let’s find out more about the things you feel and do
cuz you’re the most important person in the world to you

The Iranian President Ahmadinajibajab visited Columbia University yesterday. After taking heaps of criticism for extending the Iranian President the invitation to speak, Columbia University President Lee Bolinger responded by verbally flaming his guest in the opening remarks, accusing him of behaving like a petty dictator, saying his arguments appealed only to the illiterate and the ignorant, and calling him ridiculous. I was vaguely reminded of Apollo Creed’s verbal mistreatment of Ivan Drago in the press conference before their exhibition bout. In both cases the foreigners were treated with a breathtaking lack of class.

Am I a fan of Ahmadinabingabang? No I am not and if you think I am then you’re entirely missing the point. The visit from the Iranian President was a golden opportunity for Americans to making inroads into the hearts and minds of the Iranian people. Far from being a monolothic demographic’o evil, Iran is home to a restive subpopulace who are dissatisfied with the decades old Islamic Iranian Revolution. In California Review’s interview with Azadeh Moaveni, hot Persian author of “Lipstick Jihaad”, Kelly Hartog writes:

Moaveni had access to the world of young people who flaunted the regime’s oppressive rules. Young men and women, forbidden to socialize in public, meet in private at high class and daring “mixed� parties where the girls are dressed to the nines in tight mini skirts and way too much makeup.

Moaveni writes of a country so obsessed with the West and with their views guided by American television that they genuinely believe “all guys should act like Carson Daly, and that girls in the United States wore tight, revealing clothes at all times.�

If there is to be an Iranian counter-revolution to shake up the hardliner fuddy-duddies of Iran, these are the people we should be trying to reach. Rather than acting like a dick to the Iranian President (which doubtlessly made Columbia President feel good but will certainly be used by the Iranian media to drum up anti-American sentiment among those we should be trying to reach), President Bolinger should have made the same points about Iran’s human rights issues but conducted himself with class expressing profound and genuine concern for the Iranian people. THAT would have been an effective means to an end rather than flaming out which is entirely an end unto itself.

For President Boliniger to use this opportunity to make a personal attack against the Iranian President was a waste. It’s not like Ahmaneebamistercrab is gonna come away from this and say “Hey, I really am a ridiculous person who acts like a petty dictator, from now on I’m gonna be a good guy.” Yeah right. The Columbia President’s remarks should have been directed with a wider audience in mind. And that would be how you win the hearts and minds. Not by inviting someone to dinner and then flicking mashed potatoes on him.

Much like Muhammad Ali’s final bouts at the end of his career, the Simpsons, now in it’s 19th season, has become pathetic and strictly unwatchable. I say this because I actually witnessed this season’s premier episode last night (watch is a verb I reserve for seeings things that are enjoyable, crimes can only be witnessed). The once heavyweight show of animation should have thrown the towel in at least seven years ago. The more classy thing to do would have been to go out on top even years before that like Bill Watterson did with Calvin and Hobbes but that is not to be. Watching the Simpsons now is like seeing your mom get beat up in a bar fight when she’s drinking Milwaukee’s Best.

What’s wrong with the show? Well for starters, it isn’t funny anymore, and that’s just the beginning of its problems. Secondly, the story lines are not even remotely believable and you can’t keep an audience even nominally interested in the unfolding events when Homer successfully crash lands an errant plane and then accidently drives it forward off a cliff and into a large body of water. The characters all then come out unscathed as do the viewer’s facial muscles. The entire show continues in this disjointed action and it’s as if the charactes are just going through the motions of being the family we all used to know and love.

The writers, as if to offering an apology for the poor storyline, also toss in cameo voice appearances by Rush Limbaugh and Lionel Richie. Hello? These people aren’t even particularly likeable, not to mention even nominally funny. Nichole Richie would have been more to the point and Rush Limbaugh has about as much business doing cartoon voice-overs as he has doing the play-by-play commentary for ESPN football. Through last night’s entire episode of the Simpsons I counted how many times I laughed, it was exactly twice (and once was because my mind drifted and I was thinking about the Calgon “ancient Chinese secret” commercial, I kid you not). Why don’t they just stop? I say we’re lucky there’s a Family Guy.

I remember one time I went down on this chick for so long I sprained my face. I was afraid for a minute it was gonna stay like that forever.

Priest Smashes Wine Bottle Over Old Lady’s Head! Classic!!!

DG will solve the world’s ills with Shiner Bock Beer. What better day than a friday to propose such a solution?