teh Mexigogue

Spongebob & Patrick meet Terrance from the Terrance and Phillip Show.

For once an exorcism has worked.  Ding dong, the demon is dead.

In the news, four decades after the United States planted its flag on the moon, Russia has announced that it is sending a submarine on a mission to plant a flag at the bottom of the Arctic ocean in order to symbolically stake Russia’s claim to the ocean with all its oil and mineral rights. “The Arctic is Russian” Artur Chilingagrov argues, “We are going to be the first to put a flag there, a Russian flag at the bottom of the Arctic Ocean, at the very point of the North Pole.”

In other news Poland has in turn announced its own plan to plant a flag on the sun.

I was just watching something on TV about Karla Faye Tucker who was sentenced to death in Texas for committing a particular heinous murder back in the day. The program went on to describe how her supporters were trying to get her death sentence commuted because of her conversion to Christianity when she was on death row. The question occurred to me why a conversion to any particular theistic belief should be considered at all either in the sentencing or post sentencing processes.

How does this work? If somebody converted to atheism during their time in prison would they expect a similar reconsideration of their punishment? Or is the difference here that Karla Faye Tucker obstensibly didn’t believe that murder was wrong at the time she committed the crime but that she changed her thinking due to her conversion to Christianity? If that is the case wouldn’t it be just the same if she had converted to rational objectivism, a non theistic line of thought which teaches that murder is wrong because it is the ultimate violation of property rights, specifically the individual’s right to his or her own life? Because if the answer is that we’re talking about theism in particular, I don’t see that Karla Faye’s transition from heroin addict to religious zealot is any different than switching from one drug to another.

Flat out, if she didn’t used to think that murder was wrong but now she does she should just say so. Then the belief system (Christianity, rational objectivism, etc.) should be brought up to buttress that point. But if it’s simply the appeal to theism that is being offered then I don’t think that’s any more to be considered than if she said she had changed her views about the merits of the empty backfield formation in football. I’m just sayin.

I preface with this: I despise dogfighting and animal cruelty. In effect it is two men using animals as a proxy to fight for them because they don’t have the balls to fight themselves. That is both cowardly and repugnant. That said, I also think that Michael Vick is being judged unfairly by the NFL and I will tell you why.

In a new development in the Michael Vick saga, the NFL commissioner has ordered the Michael Vick to stay away from training camp until the league conducts an investigation as to whether or not the Falcon’s quarterback violated any of the league’s policies. The commissioner’s statement to Vick is as follows:

“While it is for the criminal justice system to determine your guilt or innocence, it is my responsibility as commissioner of the National Football League to determine whether your conduct, even if not criminal, nonetheless violated league policies, including the Personal Conduct Policy,” Goodell said in a letter to the quarterback.

The idea here is that it is up for the a jury of Vick’s peers to determine whether or not he is guilty of a crime but the commissioner is going to refer to the government’s allegations against him to determine whether or not Vick is guilty of violating league policy. My problem with this is that, absent a confession or a conviction, an allegation is just that.

For those of you who may think I’m knee-jerk siding with a criminal because he happens to be an athlete, I will say that you don’t know if he happens to be guilty at all. There have been seemingly stronger cases than this one in this country that have been overturned 20 years into a prison sentence on the strength DNA tests that exonerated seemingly guilty men. Unless Michael Vick has been fucking his dogs this is not going to end up being one of those cases so that’s where the analogy breaks down but you get the point, allegations have been made. Guilt or innocence have yet to be determined.

Back to the point: the commissioner will presume to make a determination on whether or not Michael Vick may have violated any league policies by referring to the strength of the case against Vick (the commissioner’s own words). This action potentially sabatoges Vick in at least two ways. First, presuming some or all of the allegations against him may be false, it may create a situation where Vick now would feel compelled to respond to these allegations before the trial begins in order to make his case before the NFL.

As people who are familiar with trial procedure will tell you, it’s not always in the best interests for a defendant to speak about his case before the trial, in fact it usually isn’t. The reason is that a prosecutor can and will use anything you say in order to try and pin you down and trip you up and make you look bad. This can be detrimental whether or not you are in fact guilty of the crime in question. In short, the criminal case against him demands silence, the NFL presumes to base its determination on the government’s version of events in which case it would behoove Michael Vick to speak out.

Secondly, suppose that before the trial the league determines that Vick is indeed guilty of violating the league’s policies. Does not a determination such as this possibly impede justice? Will potential jurors not notice this and wonder just what NFL policies Michael Vick has violated? The policies against being a criminal? Against dogfighting? So for the sake of the trial he should be silent before the commissioner but for the sake of the trial he should make his case to the NFL? What kind spot is that for a defendant to be placed in?

Whether or not this man participated in illegal dogfighting is a finding of fact and that is for a jury to decide. If the NFL commissioner is in possession of some mystical fact finding powers that can arrive at the Truth by referring to only one side of the story, he should reserve these magical acrobatics until after the trial. The downside for the NFL is that a possibly guilty man plays football for a few games. Go the commissioner’s route and the downside is that a possibly innocent man may be found guilty due to the prejudicial actions taken by the NFL commissioner and his swami hat. The question is not whether or not the NFL commission has the right to make a determination at this time, it is whether or not he should.  I throw the flag for illegal procedure.

Pull up a chair and get a cup of hot cocoa, this is good. Let me preface by saying that I had the following nightmare about five years ago and it was one of the most vivid dreams of my life. Occasionally I have nightmares that are so visually and accoustically real that they make reality itself seem two simplistic and unacceptably fake by comparison. This was one of them.

The dream begins at a picnic attended by a bunch of twenty-somethings. They appear to be college-types, well mannered and dressed, in short the beautiful people. The food is a veritable smorgasbord, a wide variety of foodstuffs, everything of exceptional quality. There are also soda pops and beers of many types.

I begin making my way to the food when I encounter a beautiful woman. We are making conversation and we seem to be hitting it off nicely. Everything I say seems to be the right thing and this chick is intensely and genuinely digging me. I’m marveling at the perfection of this day when suddenly the woman begins to dissolve before my very eyes. As she begins to fade I say ‘No, wait!’ but she continues to disappear with a wave and all I hear is “Bye! bye!”

Immediately I encounter another woman, even more beautiful than the first. Once again we engage in communication and again we seem to have remarkable chemistry. Just as I am settling into this reality (and oh my god, can this possibly be real?) the woman once again begins to dissolve. Again I protest but to no avail. Once again there is the dissolving, the waving, and the fading byes.

It may have happened a third time but if so I was getting a bit wise at this point. I make a decision to just get some food so I head for a tray that’s situated among the college twenty-somethings. I’m trying to fix my plate when I bump the tray and it begins to fall. I grab it with my free hand but it’s still unbalanced. I ask for help but before it is forthcoming I see two rats emerge from underneath the tray. The food is corrupted and we didn’t even know.

At this selfsame moment the sky darkens and a chilly wind begins to blow. The college twenty-somethings all begin collecting their things in preparations to leave. I stand there kind of dumbfounded, wondering what to do. Suddenly the sky darkens even further to an evil hue and the wind begins to howl. The people are all running now to the various entrances of their dorms. As an outsider I know I don’t have a dorm to run to but belatedly I finally run at an entrance. Surely these friendly strangers will extend shelter to me. Just as the last person gets in in front of me, they turn around with a look of fear in their eyes and slam the door on me. I hear the unmistakable sound of locks being secured and it’s then that I understand that this wind and storm itself have come specifically for me.

I’m running around the campus now but there seems to be no escape from this maze of buildings. In a intense anxiety now I begin flying, but my flying ability only extends about five feet off the ground, I can’t fly over the buildings. I’m going faster now but still there is no escape. Then everything goes dark.

When I regain consciousness I am literally in hell. Hell is a series of underground tunnels built of concrete bricks. If you’ve played America’s Army think the tunnels of the Pipeline map (strange since at the time of this dream I had not yet every played America’s Army). These halls are clustered with the other denizens of hell, most of whom seem to be from my socio-economic background, in short the hood. The walls are colored blood red and the floors and ceilings are black. The lighting is poor in hell and the halls seem to be a mass of confusion. The prime occupation here seems to be running down the halls from unseen but imminent dangers that come first from one direction, then from another. I run the halls and join in the torment. This is bad but after a while I decide it could be worse.

At some point I recognize one of my fellow damned. It’s Monique’s baby’s daddy, the father of her son Paytie (I forget his name). He’s the same old jive talking backwards hat wearing dude he was in life. I say what’s up. He responds in kind and it occurs to me then to ask him if he’ll hook me up with a haircut. You might have to be in hell but that’s no excuse for looking bad. The next thing I dig I’m sitting in a barber’s chair and old boy is going to work with the clippers, scissors, and comb. Everything seems to be going ok except.

Sudden paranoia. It suddenly occurs to me that this guy is more foe than friend and I become convinced that he’s going to slit my throat with a straight razor. I must do something quick as time if of the essence. I whip the chair around grab his skull firmly just as he’s going for my throat. I jam my thumbs in his eyes and with a grimace and gutteral sounds we begin to struggle. My thumbs in his eye sockets give me the advantage, the only thing now is not to let up, to show no mercy lest he gain the advantage. I won’t release my death hold on him and I’m moving my thumbs around his eye sockets, trying to get to his brain. The inside of the eyes are warm and sticky. His strength begins to wane and his last words are grudging props extended through a grimacing smile. Then he is dead.

Afterward I’m washing my hands trying to remove all evidence of the crime. There were no witnesses but I’m conscious of circumstantial evidence and I’m working on an alibi. The dream ends here in this state of anxiety and suspense. I have had vivid and intense nightmares before and since, but his one is by far the best.

I had a nightmare that I was still married to Halima and we were getting along. (shudder!)

You guys! I just made some shredded beef. . . . . It’s like God busted a nut in your mouth! I’m seriously!

Recipe available on request.

I feel a long post brewing in the near future, something about philosophy/psychology/politics. In the mean time, check out this song from the past. I’m old enough to remember 10 CC with I’m Not in Love

1. Instead of the shot-put, the Olympics should introduce the cat-put, and;
2. Instead of women needing to have less fat, perhaps they just need more nipples.

Stellar!