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November 2006

I’m Free (Again)

I just got back from Friend of the Court where my show cause case was dismissed because I proved that I have gotten (or have already begun the process of getting) my child support orders revised. That’s it, that’s the extent of Kim’s revenge. The whole thing ended with a nifty little poof because I’m […]

WIGGLE THIS!!!

Muhuhahahahahahhahahaa!!! A year and a half ago I damned the Wiggles to high hell and now it would appear that my curse has come to fruition. TAKE THAT YOU WIGGLY FUCKERS!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! HORNS!!!

The Day I Couldn’t Breathe

1992 I had recently split up with my fiancee so I was back living with my mom and younger brother on Kilborn Street. The downstairs neighbor was a big chick and a thespian. At least I think she was because she was always having sex with the landlady’s daughter. Her name was Rochelle and she […]

Cleveland

Phelps is in Cleveland.  Let’s give him some good advice on that great Midwestern tourist hubub.  Let’s see. . . .   Back when I accompanied King Kong my ex-wife to the Cleveland Clinic I noticed that everybody in Cleveland seems to be fat.  The locals often end up with health problems so they end up at […]

Eavesdropping

I had an audiorecording going last weekend and I forgot to turn it off.  When I was reviewing the tape I noticed I had picked up a piece of someone’s conversation.  Freaky!

A Universal Gift for the Holiday Season

Get one of these babies and pooping will no longer be a chore, it will be something you look forward to with much splendid eagerness, kind of like when you were three or like if you’re an old person of any age.  These make great stocking stuffers.  The greatest advancement in bathroom paraphanalia since the […]

Homophobia is Gay

My daughter was watching a television program with her mother.  The subject was when parents disapprove of their children’s love interest.  At the beginning of the program the mother said “I hate when it’s about gay people.”  My daughter said “There’s nothing wrong with being gay.”  Her mother snaps back “Why would you say that?? […]

Turn Your Yeast Infection into $$$ Profit!

I’ll never die.  I was thinking about this the other day, about the fact that when I was younger I used to get panic attacks, imagining that my heart was about to stop and I’d begin hyperventilating.  I used to worry that I would get a sponaneous aneurism and just keel over but the more […]

!!!

Oh my God. . . Ghandi from the D finally posted. Everybody hit it up!!!!!

More Notes

I was at our office’s annual meeting a couple weeks ago when I was looking for a breakout session to attend. I followed Kelley into one and I found out I had accidently gotten into a training about women in the Latino community. Once the door shut behind me it was too late to escape […]