Displaying posts published in

August 2006

Jesus of Nazareth (and other zany characters)

Tom Brokow:We’re here today with Jesus of Nazareth in the year 30 A.D. to get some answers on some of life’s more vexing questions. But first, birthdays! Jesus: Don’t you think doing the Russ Martin bit is a touch hackneyed? Especially now since it’s you imitating him making fun of you? I mean really. I’m […]

The Day I Pretended to be My Own Twin

1994: This story takes place right around the time I first began temp work in State offices. I know this because it was at that time that I started buying dress clothes with matching tie and suspenders. I looked quite professional back then and to top it off I needed a professional looking coat (a […]

Sunday

I was in a good position yesterday but even as I was on the cusp of success I feared for my life. I found myself three up on Jim Furyk after seven holes of golf and I thought that with just 11 holes left I could actually win as long as I played smart and […]

Basics!

Look, if you order the supplies in your office, know this: 80% of the pens you order should be black! Black is universally accepted as the normal writing color, followed closely by blue (reverse these if you work in an office where you need blue ink in order to distinguish original documents from copies). Black […]

Statement

“Whether or not you believe me is almost entirely beside the point. I speak for the sake of an objective Truth. If I’m speaking to anyone at all, it is for posterity but the nature of Truth is such that I would be compelled to speak it even if there was no one. . . […]

Dreams

I didn’t even remember I had this dream until my daughter asked me a question regarding lucid dreams a couple of days ago. It suddenly came back to me, I had had the coolest dream just two days before. It went like this: I was being pursued by somebody or something and had taken refuge […]

I Love News Like This

In an article about the men arrested for alleged mass murders in the Phoenix area, the ex-wife of one of the accused men is saying that he was an emotionally abusive husband: She said Hausner never hit her, but constantly belittled her. “I was really miserable,â€? she said. “He’d tell me, ‘You can’t cook, you […]

The iPod Controls Your Mind (Cue Scary Violins)

I’m reading the news again to-day, totally innocent morning, got my Beaner’s Coffee (java does not stop for death), when suddenly I’m blindsided by yet another case of wrong conclusions being drawn from a behavioral study. According to a telephone survey it seems that teenagers who have songs with strong sexual content on their iPods […]

Pronoun Trouble

An exerpt from a Bugs Bunny skit, pulled from a Wikipedia page:  Bugs: It’s true, Doc; I’m a rabbit alright. Would you like to shoot me now or wait ’til you get home? Daffy: Shoot him now! Shoot him now! Bugs: You keep outta this! He doesn’t have to shoot you now! Daffy: He does […]

Kick Shot

I made a three rail kick shot in pool yesterday.  I wasn’t doing it to be fancy, I was playing against a pretty good player and the opportunity presented itself, not just kind of presented itself, it came up in a game exactly like I practice it all the time. I was playing this Mexican […]