Displaying posts published in

July 2006

Funny Tombstone

Hey you guys! No fooling. When I die, I want you motherfuckers to do this for me. Have them make me a tombstone. It should say: Auday duay dumbalar, give me the power I beg of you!!! Just like in the Chuckie movies!! make sure it has three exclamation points too!! Thanks! (p.s. no plans […]

The Ethics of War

This piggybacks onto the comments from yesterday’s entry: Unprovoked violence is bad. When an individual commits such an act it is the duty of society to punish that individual and, if need be, to remove that person from society so that everyone is safe. When a nation is guilty of committing violent acts against another […]

Let Them Fight

I don’t like war.  It’s destructive, hateful, capricious, and a waste of resources.  I don’t like bar fights either for some of the same reasons (you almost always end up spilling beer).  That said, sometimes when two entities hate each other so much you have to let them slug it out, every 20 years or […]

Checklist

one two liter of diet 7-Up (check) one pack of mentos Results to be posted later.

My Childhood Friend Polio

I was just going through some old posts and I realized that, among the three month batch that got lost when the server went kaplunk, was the post I had where I wrote about my good childhood friend polio. I’ll try to recreate it as best as I can, sorry if this is a rerun […]

Movie Ideas

I’m going to write a screenplay. I’m thinking it’s gonna be based loosely on the life of Jonas Salk, except on his off hours from his normal job trying to cure polio he’s going to be hustling pool and dressing up like the Loch Ness monster in order to trick people into giving him tree-fiddy. […]

The Day There Was a Shoeprint on the Driver’s Side Window

Summer of 1987, Lansing Michigan Tyrone and I met Tywonna at K-mart. Actually we weren’t at K-mart, his mom was, having been compelled by some shopping compulsion to go there. We were just along for the trip so technically we weren’t shopping at K-mart, although we were in fact there, we were just walking around […]

Sleep Paralysis, Bad Back, and Fred Sanford

Leanne and Busta Rhymes. How different can siblings get? My back exploded on Sunday. It took me like 3 full minutes to get up from the floor and even then I couldn’t stand up straight. I was walking around all hunched over like some welfare recipient. I took a day off of work and spent […]

What the Fuck???

Read this article! An excerpt: A judge has ordered the state Board of Medicine to stop disciplinary proceedings against a doctor accused of telling a patient she was so obese she might only be attractive to black men and advising another to shoot herself following brain surgery. Ok, yesterday I was reading a CNN article […]

Sick

I’m going to the redi care.  If you don’t hear from me check the obitiuaries.  Better yet, help write it and make sure it’s some funny shit.  Say something about me chilling in the loving arms of The Devil.  HAHA (cough, uhhhhhgh).