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the day that

The Day the School Tried to Pimp Me Out So I Could Go to Winter Camp

Winter of 1981 The day broke cold and grey. . . Exceedingly cold and grey. Wait, wrong story. So I’m like in the sixth grade and the school is having this one week long winter camp thing. The cost is godawful high, somewhere between $30 and $45, way out of league for my impoverished family […]

The Day I Couldn’t Breathe

1992 I had recently split up with my fiancee so I was back living with my mom and younger brother on Kilborn Street. The downstairs neighbor was a big chick and a thespian. At least I think she was because she was always having sex with the landlady’s daughter. Her name was Rochelle and she […]

Deja Who

January 2002 I awake from a dream. It’s about three in the morning and I’m on the living room floor next to the couch where She Who is Not to be Named has been sleeping. She feels my eyes upon her and she opens hers. I’ve spent almost every waking moment away from work with […]

The Day I Played a Joke On Mrs. Monk

Winter of ’86/’87 I’m in Mrs. Monk’s history class in San Angelo Central High School. I’m finally settling down to actually living in West Texas, having found a fellow northern classmate named Cheri to spend time with after school hours. During school Mrs. Monk’s class is one of my favorites as the people here are […]

The Day Carol Tried to Drive the Car with The Club on it

September 1996 Carol and I have split up.  I have gone back to be roommates with Guy in the UNLV Jacket and she has went to live at an undisclosed location with some New Dude.  The split is almost amicable and she has described it as “time apart” although I tell her that this is […]

The Day I Pretended to be My Own Twin

1994: This story takes place right around the time I first began temp work in State offices. I know this because it was at that time that I started buying dress clothes with matching tie and suspenders. I looked quite professional back then and to top it off I needed a professional looking coat (a […]

The Day There Was a Shoeprint on the Driver’s Side Window

Summer of 1987, Lansing Michigan Tyrone and I met Tywonna at K-mart. Actually we weren’t at K-mart, his mom was, having been compelled by some shopping compulsion to go there. We were just along for the trip so technically we weren’t shopping at K-mart, although we were in fact there, we were just walking around […]

The Day I Was Denied Security Clearance

“Your mom goes to college.” Kip, in “Napoleon Dynamite” In 1988 I was at the Military Entrance Processing Station in Detroit along with a group of about 100 other guys taking our physicals in order to join the military. With so many people this was turning out to be an all day process so by […]

The Day I Had a Feud

Summer of 1996 (or thereabouts): Living at 822 Clayton, Guy in the UNLV Jacket is my roommate. I stop by Quality Dairy on West Willow and meet this chick named Gina who works there. I get her phone number and invite her over “to play cards”. That was the catchphrase back in the day. Gina […]

The City

September 7, 1984: I disembark at the Greyhound station in Detroit. I’m fourteen and being as I’m unfamiliar with The City I have specific instructions to get a cab straight to Theodore Hughes’ place. “Do not go walking around outside the Greyhound station” I was warned. Not to worry. I’ve heard all about Detroit from […]