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the day that

The Day that I was Abducted

It was November of 1998 and I was just leaving my home on the way to work. The Crackerbarrel was my weekend job where I would wrap holiday gift for customers in the gift shop section of the store. It was menial, low level work compared to my real job but it was easy enough […]


It’s not the pinball you’re thinking of. When I was in Grand River Elementary School, pinball was a modification of the game more commonly known as dodge-ball or bombardment. The only difference was each team has a single bowling pin at the back of their side of the gym which was set directly under the […]

One Time

I remember one time I went down on this chick for so long I sprained my face. I was afraid for a minute it was gonna stay like that forever.

The Day that I had to Think Fast

On my first day of kindergarten I saw some kid punch another kid in the face, making him cry. I thought to myself “What was that crazy bitch thinking sending me here?” But I learned to get along and I got to like kindergarten. In fact I was pretty damn good at it. Then one […]

First Impressions

In 2001 I used to have a black winter hat with the Arabic script for “Allah” on the front.  I wore this everywhere I went throughout the winter because Michigan winters get very cold.  I also thought it looked cool although the hat was eventually stolen from me but that is neither here nor there. […]

Strip Club

I normally don’t do strip clubs, titty-bars, live nude showgirl bars, or whatever you want to call them but last night was different. I parked myself at a table along with three like-minded individuals with a fist-full of dollars and waited. We had all come together bent on a common cause and we sat around […]

George Washington Carver and Freedom

Most people don’t know what freedom is. I can firmly attest to what it is because I’ve experienced what it isn’t. The following is the first in a two part series: You might think this is a post about George Washington Carver the person. It is not. Among my numerous Texas stories from the past, […]

The Day I Drove to New York City

1993 (give or a take a year) I had met this black chick with really really REALLY big breasts at Michigan State University campus. No, I was not a student, I used to hang out at the Student Union Center with my homie Tyrone. So anyway we met this big breasted chick named Donielle and […]

The Day I Battled it out with Kim

I was going through some of my old stuff and I came across some actual footage of a fight Kim and I had when we were married. I thought this stuff was long gone but since I found it I’m posting it so you all can see what it was like to be married.

The Day it was Cold

Phelps thought it was cold when he was in Cleveland a couple weeks ago. No. It is now below zero in the actual temperature and the wind chill is pushing it to like twenty below. NOW it’s cold. I know it is because when I stepped outside to go to the bar on Saturday I […]