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If I could teach myself to pee blue, the toilet would always look like it had just been cleaned.


There are a lot of lesbians in women’s professional pool.  This is not a value judgment or an indictment, it’s just a fact (and a rather curious one regarding competetiveness, sexuality, and the female brain.)  But that is besides the point, and you will see shortly why I had to preface with that. Yesterday I was […]

Mexican History

At the beginning of the 20th century the Mexican regime, then under the leadership of Porfirio Diaz, was rapidly disintegrating and there was unrest everywhere.  The infamous bandit Francisco Pancho Villa was rapidly gaining strength in the North and he would soon ally himself with other anti government forces and idealogues like Venustiano Carranza and […]

The Day that I had to Think Fast

On my first day of kindergarten I saw some kid punch another kid in the face, making him cry. I thought to myself “What was that crazy bitch thinking sending me here?” But I learned to get along and I got to like kindergarten. In fact I was pretty damn good at it. Then one […]


In St. Petersburg Flordida, the girl with a record breaking case of the hiccup is missing.  She has hiccups for like months at a time and she’s apparently run away from home.  How will they ever find her? Ok, everybody shush for a minute. . .  (stifled) hiccup! So yesterday I was doing a vodka […]

First Impressions

In 2001 I used to have a black winter hat with the Arabic script for “Allah” on the front.  I wore this everywhere I went throughout the winter because Michigan winters get very cold.  I also thought it looked cool although the hat was eventually stolen from me but that is neither here nor there. […]

Real Life

I’m still into this Dostoevsky novel.  This time I was prepared.  When I read The Brothers Karamazov (and none of them were actually black guys which I don’t understand) I started getting mixed up a few chapters in as to who was what in relation to whom because there were so many characters.  Add to […]


I’m reading Fyodor Dostoevsky’s “The Idiot”, which, while not so highly acclaimed as “The Brothers Karamazov” or “Crime and Punishment”, is still a Dostoevsky work so fuck you guys I’m gonna read it.  I’m only on like page 12 but so far this story has me drawn in.  I intend to learn from his writing […]


So I met Jenn which means I had to try to use social skills in real life.  God she’s beautiful and  I got the opportunity to drink beer in yet another spot.  It was great fun for me.  I was pleasantly surprised that she turned out not be a transvestite and I told her as […]


I can’t find my cloak of invisibility.  I put it down and now I can’t see it.  It’s like it just vanished.